I think i peed on brittanys purse
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize