I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
