it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
zippers are such a cool invention
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
