I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh god it's open bar.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
