Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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