you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
