I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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