you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
