I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
