I swear god or herbie drove my car home
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
