:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
