i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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