I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
