the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
