i permit you to call me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
