you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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