Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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