it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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