I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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