i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
