We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
