I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
