She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
