so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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