After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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