I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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