Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you win again, gameday.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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