We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
