Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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