Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
