Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
