I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize