why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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