This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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