I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
