Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We are all done wearing pants today
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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