Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
