i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
