South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
