CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize