You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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