Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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