I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
