the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
