Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
