I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
