Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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