Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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