just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize