please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
