We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
