please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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