take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
