Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize