ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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