i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
