i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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