It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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