i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i would punch a child for taco bell
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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