You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
