Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
