I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
