As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
