I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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