some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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