just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
