when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
